Blog

So what about the kids?

March 21, 2017 10:17 am

A respected author, therapist and blogger wrote last week, “When people want out of their marriages, they say the kids will be better off. Children only benefit from divorce when marriage is abusive”. I can only assume she is asserting that the “people” in which she refers, are looking for some sort of an excuse as to why they are very likely hurting and upsetting their children. I can only imagine that she thinks they are looking for a way... View Article

Having an affair? 5 things you need to do NOW!

March 14, 2017 11:16 am

  The average affair lasts 6 months. The situation is not sustainable but it’s very easy to get swept away by new awakened and re-invigorated feelings. There will however always be that nag at the back of the brain that tells you that you can’t do this forever. You need to act and in our experience the sooner the better for everyone concerned. Recognise what you are doing Most people don’t look for an affair. It’s usually the result of... View Article

Welcome to Fantasyland

March 13, 2017 12:02 pm

There’s no denying that an affair makes good television. Many of us religiously watch our favourite soap characters jump from bed to bed in the same street or square, acknowledging, in the most part, that this is total Fantasyland. This isn’t real. It wouldn’t or couldn’t ever really happen. And then we have an affair. And we slip seamlessly and unknowingly into our own Fantasyland. We argue that the affair we are having is actually a very real part of... View Article

The Office Affair

March 6, 2017 1:52 pm

“I am truly sorry that something that is so deeply private has become public knowledge”. Last week’s words of John Neal, head of the world’s largest insurance company, QBE, about his affair with his personal assistant. His failure to notify the board and therefore risk a conflict of interest cost him so much more than the tangible 20% of his annual bonus. But he did, at least, hang on to his job. Not so fortunate for his lover who is... View Article

A woman scorned

February 27, 2017 2:00 pm

Last week saw a wealth of women hit the headlines with varying reactions to betrayal by a spouse or lover. Julia Keys, wife of Sky Sports presenter Richard, didn’t hold back, appearing on TV, radio and giving interviews to the press. It felt like her revenge was to shame her husband of 34 years for starting an affair with the 27 year old friend of their daughter. The relationship psychotherapist had been working on a book about the signs to... View Article

Affair Statistics – all you need to know……

February 8, 2017 4:52 pm

When you are on the confusing and emotional rollercoaster that is having an affair you often want help. It’s difficult to confide in anyone as it’s usually a very secretive business. So you look everywhere, online, magazines and TV. The accompanying guilt makes you want to try and justify your actions so you look for evidence of others doing the same. The inevitable decisions you have to make urge you to look for answers as to what is going to... View Article

“It was never supposed to be an affair”

February 8, 2017 4:49 pm

David* isn’t unhappily married.  David isn’t desperate for more and interesting sex.  David isn’t looking for an emotional connection he’d never felt before.  In fact David didn’t fall into any stereotypes we readily attribute to cheating partners. David is an accountant, married to the love of his life Sally* and they have 2 daughters.  He has been to see me at The Affair Clinic for the last 4 weeks because he is having an affair and his head is spinning... View Article

Should I leave my partner for my lover?

January 17, 2017 4:29 pm

Possibly the most asked question in my sessions. And possibly the hardest question for anyone to answer, including you. Why? Frustratingly, the short answer is “because its complicated”. Anyone currently considering leaving a relationship knows this only too well. And almost certainly wishes it wasn’t so. Many a website will offer you a 10 point checklist and the decision is made but the truth is, the question to stay or go is too personal and too big to get an... View Article

Valentines – 1 Card or 2?

January 9, 2017 4:09 pm

5 top tips if you’re buying for 2 this year…. 1.)  Don’t buy both cards at the same time.  Difficult one to explain if you happen to run into a colleague or your partners’ best friend by the till.   2.)  Don’t keep both cards at home.  If your partner finds at least one and it’s not the one they get on the 14th, the games up.   3.)  It’s only a date Trying to give them both some you... View Article