Who’s to blame?

April 30, 2018 1:28 pm

When an affair is discovered, people inevitably, but unhelpfully, point fingers.  The gossip machine starts working overtime.  “He was always over friendly”, “I always thought she might be having an affair”, “Why she staying with him?”, “How did he not realise?”, “This was always going to happen”.  In essence we are generally looking of someone to blame. It wasn’t me On a first meeting a client recently came in very distressed from a counselling session she had received elsewhere.  She... View Article

Consequences are personal

April 12, 2018 12:40 pm

GUEST BLOG Biography:  Confessions of a Reformed Cad is a an American writer, pilgrim, and entrepreneur traveling America’s midwest looking for his heart’s true north. He is working to rediscover his self-respect and power and to be worthy of a woman’s trust and respect. He is inspired by @EstherPerel ‘s TedX talks & books. My infidelity, secret-keeping, and escalating series of lies have resulted in swift, unrelenting, expensive, and extensive consequences and punishments and will take years of my life... View Article

“Stray to Stay”

March 18, 2018 7:54 pm

Really? Is there anyone who really believes this is a good idea? Apparently there is. This new, counter-intuitive, phrase-on-the-street implies that if we “stray” then we are more likely to “stay” in our primary relationship. The premise is that an affair gives us what we are missing from our relationship in the short term and reignites us to find that within our main partnership. In very rare cases, clients have found that the discovery of a “stray” even helped the... View Article

Are women cheating more then men?

March 6, 2018 11:28 am

This appears to be a hotly debated topic right now. Such a challenge to the stereotype of “boss and secretary” and “banker boy on a Friday night out” can almost seem quite shocking. After all, aren’t women supposed to be the victim in an affair discovery or disclosure? It may just be that, as with so many conversations around women and sex right now, things are changing. The very well respected relationship guru, Esther Perel, notes than since 1990, the... View Article

Affair Websites….One Last Thought……

February 26, 2018 12:56 pm

We’ve looked at how affair websites promote themselves, what the users say and had a little undercover dabble ourselves. We conclude our 4 part series with a little help from David who has kindly let us tell his story. Let me introduce David. David was happily married to Helen. David was adored by his 3 children aged 14, 11 and 8. David was great at his job and respected by colleagues around the world. David had a few very close... View Article

I used an affair website

February 12, 2018 12:55 pm

So in the interests of research and possibly not my marriage, I signed up to 3 of the “leading” affair websites to get a female users perspective. I’m not sure what I was expecting to happen. I was nervous. I wasn’t sure I trusted the anonymity, worried I was going to find a dad from the school run. But I pushed on through, made up my affair name and started to add my details. Real name, no. What I enjoy?... View Article

Affair Websites – Views from the Users

February 5, 2018 11:01 am

Last week we looked at the marketing behind affair websites, what they claim and asked “are they realistic?” This week we turn to the users themselves. We have talked to both men and women, some directly, having joined various affair promoting websites, some through online reviews and forums. We’ve divided the views into the areas we found most people want to know about, who they can meet, what the process is, how much does it cost, what the dangers are... View Article

Affair websites – Behind the marketing

January 29, 2018 10:31 am

As our regular readers know we struggle with any website deliberately set up to entice people to have an affair. Organisations that make money by, in the most part, inflicting unimaginable pain and destroying families. We see the hurt these websites cause on a very regular basis and often feel like we’re picking up the pieces from persuasive marketing that comes with no mental health warnings or danger signs. In this, our first in a series of blogs on the... View Article